So next week we face our first Thanksgiving without Daddy. For the most part I just try not to think about it. But I've also decided that the thing to do is to focus on the good and joyful things in life. I know there will be tears - especially before dinner as the Thanksgiving picture I always get in my mind is being at the Rotel crockpot eating chips with Daddy before dinner. He'd grin real big and pop another chip in his mouth. Then our tradition before dinner, rather than a traditional prayer, is to go around the table and tell what we are thankful for. I can see his face now as he always was so thankful that we were all able to get together. It will be hard to do that this year and I'm sure there will be lots of tears, but I hope we do. There is still so much in our lives to be thankful for.
I talked about Daddy with a friend the other day. She was one of many friends that provided such comfort after he died and I shared with her that when she told me it really will get easier that at the time I thought she'd lost her mind. :) But she was right. It really does get easier and I was even able to look at some pictures of him the other night with love rather than with tears. When the grief hits it's still like a knife and hurts so very bad, but at least those times are becoming fewer and fewer.
I know in my heart without any doubt that he's better now and no longer tired and in pain. Keith and I passed a church on the way to our church last Sunday morning that had a sign out front advertising "Java, Jazz and Jesus" on Friday nights. Though he didn't drink coffee, I like to think of daddy sitting with Jesus, drinking a Dr. Pepper and waxing philosophical for hours like he so loved to do. I miss those long phone conversations. And I miss my Daddy.
"Sometimes when one person is missing the whole world seems depopulated."