Another visit to the park last night! This time I remembered to bring the camera, but we got there at dusk and my camera wasn't pleased. Most of the pictures I took were way too blurry, but this one was ok. Lynne' and Joe played with his tennis ball until he was too winded to do much of anything and we came back home.
I have been in such a funk the last few weeks and really need something to happen. I don't know if it's menopause (hysterectomies aren't bad, but the aftermath isn't fun) or what, but I weep at the drop of a hat all the time. I'm missing daddy terribly lately and just really need to talk to him. And a person that I thought was a good friend sent me a "Dear John" letter that basically (my words, not hers) said that I'm too much trouble and my friendship is not worth the effort. So yeah, this isn't a pleasant time overall. And each time I think of the upcoming holidays without my father I weep again. I really, really just want 2005 to be over so that I can start fresh next year.
And then whenever I let myself have a pity party like this I feel so terribly guilty about it on top of everything else. I am so abundantly blessed and really do know that. I think that's why I started this blog was so that I can eventually work through some of these feelings and be ME again. And when I concentrate on the JOY in my life and not think about the pain then I do ok.
Well aren't I a little ray of sunshine so early this morning???
Back on a positive note, we got a new fall centerpiece for the dining room table and I'm quite pleased with it. Fall is definitely my favorite time of year. The cooler weather is like a gift after the oppressive heat of a Texas summer. I love the colors of fall and the promise of Christmas being on the way. Even raking leaves can be joyful because it brings back memories of leaf piles and my younger kids laughing, running and jumping into them. We had a blast doing that!
Can we follow the savior far, who have no wound or scar?
- Amy Carmichael