Saturday, September 09, 2006

Motorcycle Rider Lessons

Things I've learned while sitting behind my beloved on a motorcycle:

1. Do not sneeze while riding lest your bobble headed helmet head knock into his!

2. Have faith in the abilities of the driver. Squeezing his mid-section with your fingernails will not make him stop any faster.

3. Learn the universal "hello" hand signal amongst motorcycle riders. It's ok to let loose of the death grip on your driver's mid-section in order to be friendly.

4. Wearing sandals while on a motorcycle is not only foolish, it lets your toes get very, very hot next to the engine.

5. Don't even try to keep your hair looking good under the helmet while riding. As soon as you get to your destination and remove the helmet the only thing anybody will see is sweaty helmet hair.

6. Scrunched up next to the driver with a death grip on his mid-section is not a good look for most overweight women. The handsome male driver in the hotrod next to you is not smiling at you for any reason other than you look funny.

7. Do not carry your cell phone in your pocket set on vibrate. Answering a phone while plummeting down the road at high rates of speed is not wise. Besides, how in the world would a person put it next to their ear with a helmet on?

I'm sure there's more, but that's all I've got off the top of my head tonight. ;)


Loni said...

LoL! I like the sneezing part.

Shelley L. MacKenzie said...

I'll keep these in mind if I'm ever on the back of a motor cycle - which will probably be never, but just in case, I'll remember these!

Amy from Ezekiel's Garden said...

Ahahahaha!! DH just got another motorcycle, and it's been nearly 6 years since I've been on one with him. I should've read these before I got on last time, because many of them sure applied to me!