Fear

Eleanor Roosevelt is credited as having said "face something you fear every day." I heard this quote a few weeks ago and was so taken with it that I sent it in an email to several people at work. Apparently they were not nearly as smitten as I never heard anything back. ;) But the quote has stayed on my mind and this past weekend I was able to "put my money where my mouth is" so to speak.

I love the concept of the quote. By facing that which we fear we are able to conquer it and fear no longer has any power over us. Between that and having God as my co-pilot it stands to reason that I am king of the world!

Except not so much. There are things that I'm afraid of. And it's a funny thing about fear - those that don't share your fear seem to tsk tsk at it. Sometimes facing a fear is really, really hard. I faced several this past weekend and it wore me out!

The first has to do with the boat. I love the lake and was practically raised on its waters. But at some point in the last couple of years I have developed a deep fear of being on the water. Keith asked me why I'm afraid and really who can ever pinpoint the cause of a fear? So when he asked me if I wanted to start learning to drive the boat the inner me ran and hid in a corner. Exterior me looked that fear in the face and decided to count it as my fear for that day. I sat behind the wheel and I kid you not I had locked elbows and legs! My chin was quivering and I was reciting the 23rd Psalm over and over as I sped up. But God and me, we got through it. His gentle whisperings of encouragement helped me to slowly relax. I can't say that I got to the enjoyment phase of that boat trip, but at least a large part of the fear was faced. And the next day, with water smooth as glass, I drove again and did actually enjoy it!

And then that evening after dinner Keith suggested we go out and ride the motorcycles. Mind you, I've ridden these things for probably 30 years and always enjoyed them. But having the wreck almost two years ago changed the enjoyment to fear. "But Lord, please don't make me face two fears in one day!" "You can do it little one." ~ sigh ~ I walked out to the little scooter and got on. We rode for a while and again, I never got the enjoyment back. But the terror that I've felt each time I think of riding them has now passed.

With all the fear facing this weekend I was glad to get back to work today and relax! :)